Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
