What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
