i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize