guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
