it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
