I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
