Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
pray to the hookup gods
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
