Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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