chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
