Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
