It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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