I'm going to jail i love you
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
