i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
