facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
