remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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