Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
