yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
