Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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