Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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