I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
