My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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