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What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
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