I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
