remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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