Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
