I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
