pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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