Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
