3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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