YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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