yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
