Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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