R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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