ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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