and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
