ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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