It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize