problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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