I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
