I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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