I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
