69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
