he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
