meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
