Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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