I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
