why didn't you poke me back
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize