You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
