were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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