my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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