Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
