i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So many bounce houses so little time
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
