jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
