Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
