12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
