I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
