Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
