I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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