I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
