i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
