Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
