you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize