I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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