420 ftw
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize