I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
