Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.

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(702): View more from Nevada

grinding to god bless the USA? really?

(860): View more from Connecticut

shut up

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(519): View more from Ontario

Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.

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(253): View more from Washington

Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

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(443): View more from Maryland

And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks

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(949): View more from California

this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.

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(289): View more from Ontario

Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about

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(904): View more from Florida

I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not

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