I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
