She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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