she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
