And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
